17 Top Family Hotels in Europe: Unforgettable Luxury Vacations ✨ - Kid-Approved!

17 Top Family Hotels in Europe: Unforgettable Luxury Vacations ✨ - Kid-Approved!

 Luxury Family Hotels in Awesome Locations | Check The Best Family Friendly Hotels For Your Kids Now

Luxury Family Hotels in Awesome Locations

Image concept developed by the author

 

From beautiful Majorca in Spain to England, Greece and much more, every location has developed luxury family hotels to make sure both parents and children are happy and are enjoying every minute of their holiday. Child-friendly, spacious and stylish, that’s what you want from such a hotel.

From beautiful Majorca in Spain to England, Greece and much more, every location has developed Luxury Family Hotels to make sure both parents and children are happy and are enjoying every minute of their holiday. Child-friendly, spacious and stylish, that’s what you want from such a hotel.

Image concept developed by the author

 

Today we chose to discuss about a small but awesome continent on Earth, and discover the best luxury family hotels in Europe. You all know where Europe is located, but I am sure you don’t know yet all the beautiful locations here so let’s get started!

 

Estimated reading time: 29 minutes, 16 seconds. Contains 5855 words

 

 

TL;DR

1. Discover 17 luxurious family-friendly hotels across Europe

2. Explore top destinations like Ireland, UK, Spain, Italy, France, Croatia, and Greece

3. Enjoy spacious and stylish accommodations perfect for families

4. Indulge in world-class amenities and services

5. Engage in exciting activities for both parents and children

6. Create unforgettable memories with your loved ones

7. Unwind in stunning locations, from beaches to mountains

8. Experience the best of European culture and hospitality

9. Find the perfect hotel for your family’s preferences and needs

10. Embark on a stress-free, luxurious family vacation in Europe

 

17 Luxurious Family-Friendly Hotels in Europe for an Unforgettable Vacation ‍‍‍✨

 

 

1.    Luxury family hotels Ireland

Many people are curious to discover Ireland, its beautiful views, and fresh air. In the past few years, travelers have focused not only on exotic vacations but also on discovering some new interesting cities. Though they are searching for luxury family hotels in Europe, as I see it, Europe is the new trend in travel. As for Dublin, I have four big options for accommodation with awesome designs and services. All four of these hotels were the first choice of people going there, so I’ll say we can trust all their reviews. Photos below:

 

#1 The Merrion Hotel, Dublin, Ireland

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#2 The Marker Hotel, Dublin

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#3 Clontarf Castle Hotel, Dublin

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2.    Luxury family hotels UK  – Luxury family hotels in England

Everybody wants to see London at least once in their lives. That’s why it become more and more popular for traveling. Peoples with children are in search for Luxury family hotels London, happy and excited to visit the Big Ben or see the Buckingham Palace. Here I am with some suggestions for you:

#1 Egerton House Hotel, London

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#2 Taj 51 Buckingham Gate Suites and Residences, London

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#3 The Goring, London

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3.    Luxury family hotels Majorca

A beautiful Spanish island, fresh air, soft sand and the sound of the sea. That sounds like a great vacation. Here are some ideas for hotels, so your family will be fully truly relaxed.

 

#1 Posada Terra Santa, Majorca

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#2 Sant Francesc Hotel Singular, Majorca

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4.    Luxury family hotels in Ibiza

You all know that island where everything seems out of the earth. The land of parties and joy, located in the Mediterranean Sea. There is nowhere such a beautiful place with such a well-known nightlife. I have some names for you: Pacha, Privilege (formerly Ku), Es Paradís and Amnesia. Does it sound familiar to you? I bet Yes! Well, let’s find some hotels then:

#1 Grand Palladium White Island Resort & Spa, Ibiza

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#2 Ushuaia Ibiza Beach Hotel, Ibiza

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#3 Hard Rock Hotel, Ibiza

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5.    Thought about Italy? Let’s try some Luxury hotels in Italy for families.

Well, as I saw, people are more and more interested in finding special places to spend their vacations. Last summer they were crazy about luxury family hotels Sicily. Let’s have a look at some photos from that place, and maybe we’ll get the interest too.

 

#1 Belmond Grand Hotel Timeo, Sicily

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#2 Belmond Villa Sant’Andrea, Sicily

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6.    Luxury family hotels South of France

If you decide to go there, the best time to visit it is in April, May, and September. In summer, it will be too hot to enjoy, and the opposite is true in winter, when it’s freezing. The French Riviera and Cote d’Azur are the best places to see there. Along with Nice, glitzy St. Tropez, Cannes—the place where the film festival takes place continuously for 70 years, and much more.

 

#1 Hotel Sezz Saint-Tropez, South France

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#2 Hotel Royal-Riviera, South France

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#3 Five Seas Hotel Cannes, South France

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7.    Some Luxury hotels in Menorca for Families

Ok, even if you have a big family, that doesn’t mean you have to stay home and take care of them. Grab your kids and go wild together! They can also enjoy every minute of the vacation. Maybe it will be a little bit harder for you to take care of them everywhere you go, but that’s why there are many luxury family-friendly hotels ready to help you. They have many activities for your little ones. They will make new friends and laugh a lot.

 

#1 Royal Son Bou Family Club, Spain

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#2 Viva Menorca, Spain

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8.    Luxury family hotels Cornwall

We’ve talked before about the UK, and here we are again. You can have lots of activities there, from Segway Lakeview Tours to Aqua Parks and Spas. As places to visit, we cannot skip the following: St. Michael’s Mount, Minack Theatre, the Lost Gardens of Heligan, and much more. Check out this website to see all the attractions there.

 

#1 Fowey Hall, Cornwall

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#2 Talland Bay Hotel, Cornwall

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#3 The Headland Hotel & Spa – Newquay, Cornwall

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9.    Back to Spain, we go to have fun in some luxury family hotels Tenerife

When you are not on the beach tanning, you should party there or go to some submarine safaris or amusement parks. Or why not have your helidream around the area, enjoying the view from a helicopter? Choose your favorite activity and go for it.

 

#1 Hotel Suite Villa Maria, Tenerife

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#2 Vincci Seleccion La Plantacion del Sur, Tenerife

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#3 Gran Tacande Wellness & Relax Costa Adeje, Tenerife

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#4 Royal Garden Villas, Tenerife

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10.    Luxury family hotels Croatia

Maybe Croatia is not such a well-known country, but believe me, it’s awesome. You will be surprised by the things it can offer: over 1000 islands and one of the richest archipelagos all over the world, so you may want to see that; 4 huge national parks where your kids will be happy as never before (the most stunning one is Plitvice Lakes National Park). You can also explore Zagreb, Istria, and Zadar.

 

#1 Esplanade Zagreb Hotel, Croatia

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#2 Valamar Dubrovnik President Hotel, Croatia

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#3 Rixos Hotel Libertas, Croatia

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11.    Going a little bit East, we find Greece and its beautiful islands. Let’s check some luxury family hotels in Greece

 

#1 Porto Sani, Greece

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#2 Sani Club, Greece

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#3 Mykonos Grand Hotel & Resort. Greece

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12.    Luxury family hotels Canary Islands

When it comes to the Canary Islands, everybody has that dream face. (Laughs) Well, let’s make it clear. There are seven big and beautiful islands out there: Tenerife, Lanzarote, Gran Canaria, Fuerteventura, La Palma, La Gomera, and El Hierro. We’ve talked before about Tenerife, so imagine Tenerife x7. It is said that those 7 islands are the ones for falling in love—the 7 islands to make 7 stories.

 

#1 Iberostar Anthelia, Canary Islands

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#2 Vincci Seleccion La Plantacion del Sur, Canary Islands

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13.  Luxury family hotels Lanzarote

 

#1 Princesa Yaiza Suite Hotel Resort, Lanzarote

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#2 Hotel The Volcan, Lanzarote

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#3  Nautilus Lanzarote

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14.    Luxury family hotels in Cyprus

If you don’t go for the awesome view, you’ll go for the food. They have some amazing traditional dishes that will make you addicted. While enjoying the food, you can also enjoy nature, the sun, and the sea. That place has a strong culture and religion, which you may want to be curious about. Check out these options for accommodation.

 

#1 Elysium Hotel, Cyprus

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#2 Anassa Hotel, Cyprus

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#3 GrandResort, Cyprus

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#4 Amathus Beach Hotel Limassol, Cyprus

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15. Portugal

Next to Spain, there is beautiful Portugal and its amazing views of the Atlantic Ocean. From amazing nature tours to bird watching and surfing, find them all there and enjoy them with all your family. Luxury family hotels in Portugal:

Next to Spain, there is the beautiful Portugal and its amazing views of the Atlantic Ocean. From amazing nature tours to bird watching and surfing. Find them all there and enjoy with all your family.

 

#1 EPIC SANA Algarve Hotel – South Area of Portugal, Algarve

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#2 Martinhal Sagres Beach Resort & Hotel, Portugal

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#3 Pine Cliffs Residence, a Luxury Collection Resort, Portugal

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16. Greece

Greece is always a good choice to relax your body and your mind. You can take your kids there, and they will definitely have fun because many hotels include kid activities. Let’s see some luxury family hotels in Crete:

Greece is always a good choice to relax your body and your mind. You can take your kids there and they will definitely have fun because many hotels include kids activities.

 

#1  GDM Megaron Hotel, Crete

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#2 Domes of Elounda, Autograph Collection, Crete

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17.    Luxury family hotel Corsica

Located southeast of France in the Mediterranean Sea, Corsica is small but full of surprises. The water is as blue as the sky is, and the sand is soft and warm, ready to “hug” you and help you relax. Have a look at some hotels there:

Located SouthEast of the France, in the Mediterranean Sea, Corsica is a small but full of surprises. The water is as blue as the sky is, the sand is soft and warm ready to “hug” you and help you relax. Have a look at some hotels there.

 

#1 Sofitel Golfe d’Ajaccio Thalassa Sea and Spa, Corsica

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#2 Hotel Les Mouettes, Corsica

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#3 Hotel Cala Di Greco, Corsica

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Before going on any vacation, make sure you know some important things and rules for the city or beach you go to. It’s better to make a plan before going to make sure you have the best accommodations and that you’ve reserved the best activities.

 

Before going to any vacation, make sure you know some important things and rules for the city or beach you go. It’s better to make a plan before going, to make sure you have the best accommodation and you’ve reserved the greatest activities.

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FAQ

a luxurious family-friendly hotel nestled in a stunning European landscape. The hotel features elegant architecture with warm, inviting colors and lush gardens surrounding the property.

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Hotel Ratings and Luxury:

Alright, let’s get creative and dive into the world of hotel luxury, ratings, and over-the-top pampering! Buckle up, because this is gonna be a wild ride filled with crazy anecdotes, insider tips, and some serious hotel porn that’ll make you want to book a suite ASAP.

 

1. What is the number-one luxury hotel in the world?

Ah, the age-old question that has hotel snobs and travel influencers in a constant heated debate. While there’s no definitive answer, most well-travelled folks agree that the crème de la crème is the Burj Al Arab in Dubai. This sail-shaped masterpiece is the ultimate billionaire’s playground, with suite-only accommodations, a team of highly-trained butlers (one for every mood, might I add), and even a flipping helipad for those who arrive by chopper. Talk about an entrance!

Burj Al Arab

But let’s not forget the ridiculous amenities like the 18th-floor Burj Al Arab Terrace with a jaw-dropping infinity pool, cabana hideaways, and even a dedicated butler-service restaurant. Excuse me while I go plan a heist to be able to afford a night here.

18th-floor Burj Al Arab Terrace

 

2. What is the only 7-star hotel in the world?

In Dubai’s never-ending quest to one-up everyone else, they decided ratings ending at 5 stars were for peasants. Oh no, they needed a custom rating just for their landmark Burj Al Arab. Voila, the first and only 7-star hotel was born!

Now, before you go thinking this is some made-up BS, hold your horses. While hotel ratings are technically capped at 5 stars, this place is so insanely luxurious that they basically said, “Screw the rules; we’re Dubai!” and gave themselves 7 just for funsies. You’ve got to respect that level of confidence.

 

3. What is the only 10-star hotel?

“There’s no such thing as a 10-star hotel, you fool!” I hear you cry. Well, jokes on you, because that’s exactly what I thought too until I discovered the Burj Al Arab Jumeira in (you guessed it) Dubai! No, I didn’t suddenly get amnesia about which hotel I just talked about. It turns out, some absolute madlads decided to RE-rate the Burj Al Arab to a completely ludicrous, never-before-seen 10 stars!

I can just picture some hotel executives saying, “You know what? Seven Stars is a kid’s play. Let’s crank this puppy up to 10 because, WHY NOT?!” Gotta love that unabashed luxury hubris.

 

4. Where is the only 6-star hotel?

While Dubai is the reigning champ at making up silly hotel ratings, they don’t have a monopoly. Introducing the Laucala Private Island Resort in Fiji, the self-proclaimed only 6-star hotel on Earth! This ultra-exclusive resort occupies its own private island (as the name suggests) and has just 25 villas, each offering a Nazi gold bunker-level of privacy and amenities. We’re talking private beaches, pools, golf courses, and the whole nine yards.

Laucala Private Island Resort in Fiji

Basically, it’s like your own ✨luxury island kingdom✨ minus the risk of getting overthrown by revolutionaries. You’ll be treated like literal royalty from the moment you step off your seaplane or helicopter transfer. That’s a hard six stars in my books!

 

5. What is the most luxurious and expensive hotel in the world?

I’m sure you can probably guess where I’m going with this one… That’s right, we’re heading back to Dubai and the one-and-only Burj Al Arab!

Burj Al Arab Exterior drone view

This place is so obnoxiously lavish that it makes the Kardashians look budget-conscious. From the moment you roll up in your wildly impractical supercar, you’re treated like one of the world’s wealthiest oil tycoons.

We’re talking 24k gold iPads, a blooming bajillion dollar interior designed to put a dent in a small country’s GDP, and even solid gold staircases. Yes, you read that right—they literally have stairs you can slip and “break your neck on” if not careful. So extra, it hurts. 🙂

Burj Al Arab Hotel interiors

But all that extra comes at a price—literally. A single night in the best suite will set you back around $24,000! That’s more than a lot of people make in a year. But hey, at least you can Instagram your 18-course diamond-encrusted caviar tasting menu to really stick it to the poor.

 

6. What is the most luxurious hotel brand?

While Dubai certainly has the ultra-luxe market cornered, if we’re talking brands, you’ve gotta give it up for the Four Seasons. These guys are the grande dames of hotel royalty across the globe. Their properties ooze sophistication, with highly-rated service, insane room amenities (who doesn’t love a deep-soaking marble tub?) and some seriously delicious hotel food that’ll ruin all future room service orders.

Four Seasons hotels

From cosy ski chalets to beachfront resorts to swanky city digs, Four Seasons is that particularly spendy but calming friend that just gets you. Sure, staying there requires a kidney donation as payment, but those complimentary Le Labo toiletries are worth it.

 

7. What is the most highly rated hotel?

When it comes to customer satisfaction and reviews, there’s one hotel brand that consistently slays: The Peninsula Hotels. These Rolls-Royces of the hotel world have a reputation for impeccable hospitality that keeps guests coming back for more. From their iconic Peninsula Afternoon Tea to their “We Didn’t Quite Get It Right” buttons that staff can press if service wasn’t absolutely perfect, they sweat all the tiny details. It’s that maniacal dedication to the craft that wins them consistent praise from even the most discerning of luxury travellers.

The Peninsula Hotels

The Peninsula Hong Kong flagship hotel is basically a national treasure at this point, with its sumptuous suites, Michelin-star restaurants, and renowned fleet of jade green Rolls-Royce house cars. Now that’s how you make an entrance!

Peninsula Afternoon Tea

Peninsula Hong Kong flagship hotel

 

8. Which are the biggest 5-star hotels in the world?

While smaller and more intimate can definitely mean luxurious, sometimes you just want that audacious, over-the-top “OMG look at the sheer SIZE of this place!” hotel vibe. For that, may I present the following absolute UNIT hotels:

Hotel Rooms Insane Fact
MGM Grand Las Vegas 6,852 Has its own 380,000 L lion habitat because…Vegas
Venetian Las Vegas 6,539 Recreates an entire Italian cityscape under one roof, gondolas and all
Luxor Las Vegas 4,400 Literally has its own Sphinx out front, no big deal
Aria Las Vegas 4,024 Fengshui designed and one of the biggest LEED-certified hotels
Circus Circus Las Vegas 3,776 Where millions of childhood dreams have gone to die slowly

Yeah…Vegas clearly wins for ridiculous hotel sizes and wacky themes. Though I have experienced the soul-crushing disappointment that is Circus Circus, maybe smaller is better sometimes.

 

9. Where are the most 5-star hotels?

When it comes to cities stacked with 5-star luxury properties, there are a few hotspots that rise to the top:

  • Las Vegas: What happens in Vegas…requires the fanciest hotels, apparently. This desert oasis is a 5-star hotel playground.
  • New York City: You know what they say—if you can make it to New York, you’re probably loaded. The city has some seriously posh digs like The Plaza.
  • Orlando: Disney does everything big, and their hotels are no exception. There are tonnes of 5-star resorts to ensure your wildest princess-core fantasies are met.
  • Dubai: Another appearance for Dubai and their insane zillion-star hotel fetish. These oil barons know luxury.

 

An honourable mention goes to London, Paris, Tokyo, Hong Kong, and Rome for having their fair share of uber-luxurious places to rest your aristocratic head.

Now, I could spend all day waxing poetic about the cloud-like beds, opulent lobbies, and celeb-filled pools at these prestigious properties. But you don’t want to hear me ramble—you want the good stuff, the juicy stories, and insider tips! So buckle up, because we’re about to go on a magical mystery tour of luxury hotel (mis)adventures.

 

The Ritz-Carlton Millionaire Matchmaker 

It's 2 a.m. in the lobby bar of the iconic Ritz Carlton New York, Central Park and I'm sipping an overpriced Old Fashioned

Image concept developed by the author

 

Let me set the scene: It’s 2 a.m. in the lobby bar of the iconic Ritz Carlton New York, Central Park. I’m sipping an overpriced Old Fashioned, as one does, trying my best to look like I belong amidst the impeccably dressed crowd. That’s when she sashays in—a vision of a vintage Valentino with more carats on her fingers than my yearly rent.

It turns out “Marianne” was an eccentric French millionaire who took it upon herself to play real-life Cupid for the city’s most eligible bachelors. Her game? Introducing herself to unsuspecting guys at the bar, then grilling them to see if they were worthy of being set up with one of her single heiress friends.

I, clearly mistaken for a young tycoon rather than the sardine-eating writer I was, got the full interrogation treatment. Marianne wanted to know everything—my net worth, my family lineage, even my golf handicap—for crying out loud! After an hour of batting away her questions in Inner Monologue Style, she finally gave me a regretful “Oh hon, you’re just not our kind of people” and sashayed off to her next victim.

Hey, at least I got a free night of 5-star people watching out of the deal! Though I did learn that $27 is, in fact, too much for an old-fashioned. Living and learning.

It's 2 a.m. in the lobby bar of the iconic Ritz Carlton New York, Central Park and I'm sipping an overpriced Old Fashioned - image concept

Image concept developed by the author

 

The codename is Stratosphere Surfer

You know that daredevil stunt where people cliffhang outside of skyscrapers and hotels just…because? Well, one of those maniacs put the “xtreme” in extreme when he decided to surf on the freaking roof of the Stratosphere Hotel in Vegas. Yep, this guy Codename: Johnny Stratosphere strapped on a wetsuit, grabbed his board, and took things to wildly illegal heights. While the clueless tourists below were hitting the casino buffets, dude was straight up hanging ten on the curved dome roof over 1,000 feet in the air!

When security eventually caught wind, they had no idea how to handle the situation. After a tense two-hour standoff, Stratosphere Surfer came in off his radical last wave and surrendered, giving the guards a cheerful shaka sign as he was hauled off in cuffs. Cowabunga, dude!

Apparently, the prank was an elaborate stunt to promote some energy drink or other. But honestly, if you’re enough of an adrenaline junkie to attempt that kind of rooftop tomfoolery, you’ve earned your 15 minutes of fame and then some. They should give that legend a penthouse suite just for the sheer moxie!

 

Pro Tips for the Luxury Newcomer 

Enough jibber jabber, let’s get to some actual useful hotel hacking tips for those looking to experience the lap of luxury on a bundle budgie’s budget:

  1. Be a Joiner: Sign up for all the hotel loyalty programmes, even the lame ones. Those points add up for free nights quickly!
  2. Go Opaque: Use opaque booking sites like Priceline’s “Express Deal” to score deeply discounted luxury hotels if you don’t mind a little mystery.
  3. Suite Yourself: Instead of a boring old room, use a nifty service like FanshaweResorts to score discounted suites and villas that are often cheaper than entry-level rooms.
  4. Time it right: Check for major holidays, conventions, and events that usually spike rates, then go the opposite week for rock-bottom prices!
  5. Think Boutique: Smaller luxury boutique hotels can be a total steal compared to those massive chains. Bonus: way more charm.

There you have it! A few sneaky tricks to get all-important bougie hotel clout without going broke. You can thank me later. Champagne tastes!

 

The 5-Star Struggle is Real 

Look, I get it—reading all these tales of ultra-luxe hotels has you drooling onto your keyboard. The infinity pools, the lush Egyptian cotton sheets, the…gold staircases? It’s enough to make any sane person want to go to the Fyre Festival ASAP. But let’s be real here. As delightful as these places sound on paper, even the fanciest accommodations come with their own particular brand of low-key hell.

Don’t believe me? Taking a quick look at some trustworthy hotel reviews, it seems even the ritziest resorts have their flaws:

⭐️ “The private butler service was great, but the guy kept bombarding us with useless facts about Papua New Guinea for some reason.”

⭐️ “I loved the complimentary beach cabana…until I realised I was sharing it with several highly venomous snakes.”

⭐️ “The 24k gold hot tub was nice, but uncomfortable to actually sit in for any length of time. I am now a burnt, prune-like husk.”

⭐️ “The private helicopter pad is cool, I guess. Not sure why the pilot kept circling while blasting Stan Bush’s “The Touch” on repeat?”

⭐️”Great hotel, but no 24-hour butler cafe on premises to meet my nighttime croissant cravings? Unacceptable.”

 

You get the idea.

What is the moral of the story? Whether you’re splashing out for a luxury vacation or just slumming it at a regular Motel 6, literally nowhere is perfect. The struggle with tiny hotel inconveniences is universal! So next time you book that overpriced palace in the sky, just remember—not even the richest of the rich can avoid the occasional small hotel squabble. In fact, I’d argue they probably get even more heated about trivial stuff.

Can you imagine a fist-fight breaking out over too much or not enough $500 brie on the charcuterie plate? The horror!

 

The Luxury Hotel of the Future 

But enough living in the past and present! Let’s take a peek into what ultra-luxe hotels might look like in the not-so-distant future, shall we? Here’s my half-baked prediction:

AI Butlers: Sure, we have robot butlers now. But in the future, they’ll be highly advanced AI assistants able to perfectly cater to your every whim and emotion. Hungry? It’ll have already prepared your favourite meal before you knew you wanted it.

AI Butlers

AI Butlers For you

Image concept developed by the author

 

Holographic Concierge: That pesky concierge desk will be a thing of the past. Instead, you’ll just arrogantly bark orders at a life-sized hologram that’ll handle everything. “COMPUTER! I demand a seaside massage cabana at once!”

Anti-Gravity Beds: Sorry, stationary mattresses—you’ve had your run. The beds of tomorrow will use anti-gravity technology to gently float your rested body in perfect zero-G bliss. Toss and turn no more!

Molecular 3D-Printed Anything: Need an extra couple tonnes of 24k gold-heated toilet seats? A diamond-encrusted swimsuit? Just feed the request into the molecular 3D printer, and POOF! Your wish is a reality.

Teleportation Amenities: You’ll be able to pop over to that sister resort in the Maldives for a quick spa treatment, then “beam” right back to your suite like a priveleged Starfleet captain. Bon voyage, traffic!

Of course, most of these futuristic amenities will probably cost roughly triple the GDP of a small country for a single night’s stay. But I’m sure the eccentric trillionaires of 2050 will make it work!

 

The Final Hot Take 

Luxe life is best enjoyed with an easygoing smile, a stiff cocktail or six, and the freedom to simply indulge and be utterly, delightfully you. - image concept

Image concept developed by the author

 

Phew, that was a wild ride through the wacky world of ultra-luxe hotels! We laughed, we cried, and we marvelled at the sheer opulence of it all. But in the end, I hope you walked away with a few key takeaways:

1) No matter how much gold they gild the lily with, hotels will always have their quirks and flaws. It’s what makes them charmingly human.

2) With a few savvy hacks, even regular folk can experience La Dolce Vita at a 5-star palace, if only for a night or two. Hey, it’s called manifesting; look it up!

3) The future of luxury hospitality is going to be wild, wacky, and just a little bit frightening if we let the robots take over too much. AI butlers are cool and all, but I don’t need Skynet judging my 3 a.m. hamburger cravings.

 

At the end of the day, what really makes a hotel “luxurious” has less to do with the thread count or the caviar room service menu. It’s about the tiny, memorable experiences and interactions that make you feel like elite nobility, if only for a long weekend. So whether you’re living it up in a dazzling 7-star Dubai resort or just catching some zzzs at a cosy boutique spot, don’t get too caught up in the pomp and circumstance. Luxe life is best enjoyed with an easygoing smile, a stiff cocktail or six, and the freedom to simply indulge and be utterly, delightfully you.

Luxe life is best enjoyed with an easygoing smile, a stiff cocktail or six, and the freedom to simply indulge and be utterly, delightfully you.

Image concept developed by the author

 

Cheers to making your own good hotel memories, with or without those ludicrously priced gold toilets!

 

P.S.

To leave you with one final delicious slice of irreverent luxury hotel intel: the infamous Las Vegas resort, Caesars Palace, is home to one of the largest circulating bathtub gin operations on the West Coast. Don’t ask me how I know this, but let’s just say what happens in the ultra-luxe Villa accommodation…often ends up getting distilled into something strong enough to knock out a hippo. Bottoms up, high-rollers!

Luxe life is best enjoyed with an easygoing smile, a stiff cocktail or six, and the freedom to simply indulge and be utterly, delightfully you. - image concept For elitelux.club

Image concept developed by the author

 

Family and Child-Friendly Accommodations:

Hey there, travel fam! Let’s dive into the wild world of family-friendly hotels and accommodations. ‍‍‍I know how stressful vacationing with kiddos can be, but with some insider knowledge, you can turn that potential nightmare into a dream trip. Buckle up and get ready for some real talk mixed with goofy anecdotes—it’s about to get real up in here!

 

10. What is a family-friendly hotel?

In a nutshell, a family-friendly hotel is one that’s designed to not make you want to sell your kids to the highest bidder by day 2. We’re talking spacious rooms, activities to keep the littles entertained, decent food options that don’t involve another sad bucket of chicken nuggets, and amenities that make parents’ lives easier.

These places are all about removing stressors and hassles so you can (in theory) enjoy some rare family bonding time. Though, as any been-there-done-that mom or dad knows, a peaceful family vacay is pretty much an oxymoron up there with “jumbo shrimp.”

 

11. Can a family of five stay in one hotel room?

Ah, the great hotel room Tetris game! In most cases, hotels have pretty strict occupancy limits, usually maxing out at 4 people per standard room. So for your bigger broods out there, you’ll likely need to book two rooms or an upgraded suite.

Unless you feel like embracing that iconic, cramped family road trip spirit! I have definite childhood memories of myself and three siblings sharing those two dubious double beds, playing an endless game of “Don’t Let Your Feet Touch Me!” Good times…good times. :))

 

12. Why do hotels say kids stay free?

Because those cheeky hotel marketing folks are freaking geniuses, that’s why! By dangling the “free kids” carrot, they know parents will be more inclined to book with them versus the hotel charging extra for little Bratleigha and Jaxon.

Of course, the truth is, your tiniest travel companions hardly ever stay “free.” There are always random added costs, like resort fees, parking fees, and souvenir fees for using too many of those teeny hotel shampoos. Next thing you know, little Jacxsyn has cost you $500! It’s a racket, I tell ya.

 

13. What does “girl-friendly hotel” mean?

Well, well, well… it looks like we’ve got a cheeky one here! Let’s just say if a hotel advertises itself as being “girl friendly”, you probably don’t want to bring the kiddos along for that particular stay. These ahem accommodations are ground zero for some…extracurricular activities of the adult variety. Lots of mirrored ceilings, subjectively designed shower stalls—the works. Essentially, this is your classier type of establishment to take a special “guest” for a naughty weekend away.

girl-friendly hotel

In other words, the kind of place where that dubious fluorescent lighting and scratchy hotel bedspread are probably best left unquestioned. Ignorance is bliss, my friends! 🙂

 

14. What does an all-inclusive family resort mean?

Luxe life is best enjoyed with an easygoing smile, a stiff cocktail and that’s it

Image concept developed by the author

 

These magical lands of bottomless piña coladas and a la carte chicken tendies are a parent’s best friend! An “all-inclusive family resort” means your vacay package wraps up literally everything you could possibly need—accommodations, food, drinks, entertainment, activities for the whole fam, etc. Into one flat, upfront price.

The genius is that you don’t need to constantly worry about budgets, paying for each little thing, or, God forbid, that runaway “snacksidents” resort bill at check-out. Everything from those 2 a.m. French fry cravings to the unlimited froyo bar has already been covered. Cha-ching!

Not gonna lie, all-inclusives are a lazy vacation at its finest. Sure, you might pack on a few pounds from those endless buffets. But with that pina colada permanently attached to your hand, who even cares?

 

15. Can kids stay in a hotel by themselves?

Speaking purely legally? It depends on the state or province, but most hotels won’t allow anyone under the age of 18 to book a room alone, no matter how excellent their fake moustache is. Those child actors from the old Home Alone movies definitely couldn’t pull it off in real life.

Of course, that’s not to say some enterprising young’uns haven’t tried to live out those Kevin McCallister fantasies! I’ve heard whispers of ultra-savvy pre-teens using those hotel snack vending machines as their own illicit home base while mom and dad are away. Running amok, raiding the mini bar, getting Cotton Candy stains all over those 600 thread count sheets—the works.

But that’s all an ancient campfire legend, of course. No unattended minors of any kind at any reputable hotel… (winks in the underrated parent code).

 

16. Would a hostel be an appropriate place to stay with a family?

Record scratch - women edition

Let me stop you right there, friend! Unless your idea of quality family time is sharing a DIY bunkbed with Deutschbag McDreadlocks and his family of cockroaches, a hostel is probably not the best choice with kids in tow. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for slightly sketchy, adrenaline-pumping budget adventures. But there’s a line you just don’t want to cross when little ones are involved. Rundown, overstuffed hostels with their pungent aromas and clientele of wandering lost souls is a pretty hard nope from me!

If you absolutely must live it up as a fam, your best bet is to look for hostels that offer legit family rooms or even kid-themed bunks. That way, you don’t wind up suffering from PTSD after little Timmy inevitably walks in on something no 7-year-old should ever bear witness to. Save those psychological scars for their teenage years!

 

17. What counts as a child friendly hotel?

This one can vary pretty wildly depending on the specific hotel chain or brand. In general, though, the standard “child” rate will apply to any members of your travelling party aged 17 and under. But of course, hotels gonna hotel – so expect a bunch of nonsensical fine print, caveats, and restrictions. Some properties might be stricter by capping it at 12 years old or under. While others conveniently define a “child” as any rough-and-tumble little beast under the age of 27 who still lets mom do their laundry, The struggle is real! :))

My pro tip? Whether you’re rocking a tiny newborn or those dreaded eye-rolling tweens, always double-check each hotel’s specific child policies before booking. Eliminate any unpleasant surprises, like realising you accidentally booked little Bratley as an overpaying “adult” for your vacay. Those resort fees are criminal enough as they are!

 

18. Does Holiday Inn have family rooms?

holiday inn family rooms

You know it, bbs! Good ol’ Holiday Inn has long been one of the most family-friendly and affordable chains out there. While the standard rooms per property can be a bit… cosy for broods bigger than 3–4, they do offer plenty of suite options perfect for housing the whole crew. We’re talking ample space, separate living and bedroom areas, and maybe even a little kitchenette if you’re lucky. Perfect for whipping up those emergency chicken nuggets at 2 a.m. without ever changing out of your slobbery pyjama pants!

The real pro move, though? Scan those Holiday Inn suite deals for options including bunk beds. Okay, sure, they might harken back to your childhood trauma or frat house days, but for whatever reason, sticking the kids on those cramped telescoping beds is an automatic source of endless entertainment value for them. Suddenly your room has its own loose approximation of a “play place” without the hassle of dropping $200 on those depressing pizza parlors! You’re welcome, parents.

 

Okay, I could ramble about family hotel hacks until the sun burns out. But I’ll leave you with one of my cardinal tips: embrace the chaos! No matter how many amenities or luxuries a place touts as “kid-friendly,” the reality is that travel with little ones is inevitably messy, loud, and inherently chaotic.

But you know what? Those are the moments you’ll look back on most fondly years from now. Do yourselves a favour and save the snooty glitz for the kid-free anniversary trips. For now, just kick back, have fun, and make those lifelong fahhhhmily vacation memories together! Even if that means a carpet displaying some questionable abstract art courtesy of little Bailey’s spilled fruit punch…

 

Accommodation Types:

19. What is the difference between a hotel, motel and a guest house?

Ah, the age-old question that has perplexed overpacked families and bleary-eyed road trippers for ages. While these three accommodation amigos may seem cut from the same cloth, they’re actually quite different beasts. Allow me to explain…

Hotels are the posh resorts of the bunch—think bellhops, valet parking, and those tiny shampoo bottles you 100% stole for your shower back home. They run the gamut from budget chains to ultra-luxe palaces, but the common thread is amenities. Pools, room service, USB ports in random places—the whole nine yards of conveniences to pamper your fussy self.

Motels, on the other hand, are all about ✨efficiency✨. No fancy lobby with a 24-hour concierge desk, just a simple check-in counter to grab your key and go. Motels cater more to those living that transient road warrior life—park your car right outside your room, wake up, and get back on the highway. Bada bing, bada boom. They’re basically hotels’ chill, unpretentious cousins from the wrong side of the tracks.

Last but not least, we have guest houses. These cosy little numbers are like Airbnb’s pre-internet ancestors. Typically family-owned, guest houses offer that quasi-homey vibe with somebody’s cousin Shelby actually living on-premise to cook your waffles. The accommodations can range from super quaint to downright quirky; just don’t be surprised if you’re sharing a bathroom with a ceramic frog collection.

 

To sum it up:

Hotels = Treat yo’self luxury

Motels = No frills highway pitstops

Guest houses = Homemade quirk with a side of mystery hairs

 

All that said, the lines can definitely get blurred these days. You’ve got “upscale” motels advertising flat-screens and continental breakfasts. Shady inns masquerading as “boutique hotels.” Heck, even plenty of eccentric Airbnb hosts fancying themselves as operating a legit guest house. It’s a wild world out there, folks!

My advice? Don’t get too caught up in semantics. At the end of the day, they all offer a laundered bed and a roof over your head for the night, whether that involves a bellhop greeting or just tossing the keys onto the front desk from the comfort of your F-150. You do you, boo!

 

Denisse